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It’s a long way to the shop, if you want a sausage roll

Written by: 26 September 2008 5 Comments

What we have is an asshole candidate for President with an inadequate running mate beating up on the press, telling reporters they’ve got the story wrong and the candidates should be left alone.

Utterfuckinghogwash.

But it’s not too different in the music business.

Unable to sleep last night, I started checking my e-mail. Every day I get this missive from England entitled “Record Of The Day”. It’s got an exhaustive series of links. And scanning through them, I found this article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/arts/main.jhtml?xml=/arts/2008/09/25/bmitunes125.xml

My blood started to boil when I read the quotes. Because these rich motherfuckers, who happen to have made some great music, are living in the nineties and ONLY care about money. There’s this lip service to creating albums that must be heard this way, but if that’s the case, why don’t they put out records that are one giant cut, so we’re FORCED to listen to the whole damn record. Like everybody’s got an hour to sit down and listen to your irrelevant opus. Yes, the band hasn’t done anything phenomenal, hasn’t made an album worth listening to from beginning to end since “Back In Black”, begging the question whether what I heard was true… That Bon Scott had a hand in writing that material just before he died. Seems like it to me, because they haven’t come CLOSE since. Even working with Mutt Lange, the best record producer in the world, “For Those About To Rock” was a huge bringdown. I know, because I bought it. And was incredibly disappointed.

In the days since, they’ve put out a few good cuts. Like “Who Made Who”. And this new album they’re releasing is better than anything they’ve done since “Back In Black”. But it’s not “Back In Black”. But it’s a big deal. Because AC/DC has exploded this decade… AS A RESULT OF FILE-TRADING!

They’re the second biggest catalog seller. Behind the Beatles. WHY? Because kids have traded their songs and found out how great their classics are. But now they want to fuck these same kids in the ass and make them buy their new album at Wal-Mart. So they can make fuckloads of money. The whole world is listening to files, shuffling their tracks, but these ignorant musicians from Down Under don’t seem to have gotten the message. Why don’t they tell everybody to give up their computers and use typewriters while they’re at it.

The joke is illegal acquisition will dwarf CD sales. Whatever is sold legitimately will be distributed online INSTANTLY! Which is great for the band ultimately. Breeding new fans. But, like the rest of the industry, the band wants to ignore this. Even though without the aforementioned trading of the past decade their tour would not instantly sell out.

At least throw kids a bone. Let them buy tracks legitimately. But just like the inane industry they’re part of, AC/DC doesn’t want fans to have it their way. They must have never been to a Burger King…

The number one music market is not Wal-Mart, but iTunes, which is just a click away. But no, we’re supposed to drive to the heinous mass marketer who only made this deal so they could sell more crap that puts American workers and small towns out of business.

Who gives a shit about AC/DC. I’m fighting this battle against an industry that doesn’t only refuse to change, but won’t acknowledge REALITY! Shit, I didn’t listen to “Back In Black” all the way through every time when I only had the VINYL! Oftentimes, I’d drop the needle on “You Shook Me All Night Long”. The band is just interested in a price point. Otherwise, I want them to explain to me how ANYBODY getting a taste is gonna fuck them up. Why don’t they ban singles from the radio too!

FURTHERMORE, all this bullshit about not making stuff available on iTunes, how it kills catalog sales… I met with Warner Brothers, the cume of both Zeppelin and Metallica WENT UP after they were available on iTunes, IT DID NOT KILL THEIR SALES!

Wake up and live in the twenty first century.

But it gets worse. I wake up to a phone call from the head of the band’s label. I tell him about the aforementioned article in the “Telegraph”. And what does he tell me? ANGUS DOESN’T TALK LIKE THAT, ANGUS WOULDN’T USE THE WORD “STAGGERING”, HE DOESN’T BELIEVE THE QUOTES ARE REAL!

But it gets worse. When I don’t buy that, this guy calls up the publicity guy in the U.K. and gets back to me and says the interview never happened. So I ask him, ARE YOU GOING TO SUE THE TELEGRAPH???

Then they get the indie publicity guy to call me. He says the interview wasn’t on the schedule. He asks me to hold off while they do research. ULTIMATELY, this same bloke gets back to me and tells me the interview did happen, but in Germany…

WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK??

It’s AC/DC. They’ll sell a shitload of albums. Every concert ticket. It’s not brain surgery. The fucking financial system is melting down and these guys act like AC/DC is just as important. IT’S NOT!

But they’re working me. Lying to me. All in service OF THIS?

This is how America works. Worldbeaters with all the money, forces of nature, create their own reality and try to sell it to us.

DON’T BELIEVE THE NEWSPAPER? Isn’t this just what the Republicans have been telling us for YEARS? If we don’t believe the newspaper, who are we supposed to believe? YOU? Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? I’m not saying the press always has it right, but it’s independent and trying to nail down the truth. That’s its job. Not lying, cheating and stealing so it can make more money. At least the press sans Fox News.

We live in a fucked up country. If they’re even tracking down me to spread their lies, you know things have gotten out of hand.

AC/DC is wrong. Their album should be available digitally, track by track. Otherwise, it’s like saying you can’t fuck without being in love, that you can only drive with a full tank of gas, THAT ONLY REPUBLICANS HAVE THE ANSWERS!

This will all blow over. AC/DC will release their irrelevant album, make their money and go home. But someone’s got to blow the whistle here. And reveal how these fucks, both the labels and the acts, want to create their own version of the truth and force people to buy it.

We live in a track world. You can either admit it, or get run over by the future. AC/DC’s album will be available track by track. And that’s how it will be listened to. The only difference is, THEY’RE NOT GOING TO GET PAID!

Bob Lefsetz

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/

5 Comments »

  • websta said:

    full on, proper, no fooling, Rant there.

    nice!

  • Mick said:

    haha i read that whole thing thinking you liked AC/DC.

    I don’t see why anyone should care what Metallica and AC/DC do to distribute their music.
    In principal it’s not so good but they’re hardly role models to anyone, infact they’re about as irrelevant as you could get.. they have a new album?

  • bob daktari said:

    this sort ofthing fascinatesme Mick – a reflection on my professional world if you will

    and this dude does the best industry rants ever ­čÖé

  • Mick said:

    grade a rant. definitely seems like artists are shooting themselves in the foot if they only release their album as a physical cd no matter where it’s distributed. but it also seems the only people doing this are pop stars and aged rockers who think they know better.

  • DMC14 said:

    i dont know about where you are from but ACDC has never stopped being big in australia, and their local shows here will always sell out. all the best.

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