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Holiday Wrap

Written by: 11 August 2008 13 Comments

So I am back.
Not the most exciting feeling to have but its nice to be home after living in a suitcase for 5 weeks.
So our european adventure started in Berlin, 5 days or so of hanging out in `cool berlin’. The weather was a touch average but we managed to find enough stuff to occupy us, half litre beers being 1 of them.
We got to spend some time with Simon Sting, Matt Drake and Mick the Kid who warrants special mention for moving himself back down to Berlin to hang out. Some music was seen, Bonnie Prince Billie and a couple of nights/day at Berghain. Mick managed to drag me off to buy some records at Spacehall, something i haven’t done for quite some time, dunno what i am supposed to do with them now tho…. he was also my enabler for trainer buying, even if we had to travel backwards and forwards across Berlin to get it done!! but they are well cool!! for adidas….
Next up was a short flight to Paris which is both Nat and my fave city to be, so of course we left immediately for Brittany and my family’s ancestral castles/towns etc. First off we stopped in Rohan (the family name) and it was handsome yet dead. I did however manage to enjoy the best dessert of my entire life at the local restaurant. Funny place, they had about 5 mains available, all were steak
and chips with assorted sauces, but the crepes menu was a thing of beauty, pages long i tells ya! i had me my first of many crepes here and by the jesus it worked out good, a pound of whipped cream, with white chocolate sauce and REAL banana ice cream!!! top start to  getting in with the French familia.
We bombed it across to Josselin next where the Familia was centralised, we were Viscunts or summat…. Josselin is a beautiful town with medieval buildings remeniscient of ye olde english movies featuring knights and all that malarkey, i ate more crepes. It was good.
Our family has a history with the name `Marguerite’, my aunty has it and my sister a shortened version, and to go into the cathedral in Josselin and see the tomb of the original Marguerite was something that really got to me. Being from NZ we don’t get to see our own family history laid out quite like that, she even had her own stained glass window!!
Next we bombed it down to La Rochelle for a night en route to Bordeaux, La Rochelle was a grande old Naval Port and handsome it was indeed.
 Leaving La Rochelle, we headed for Paulliac, in the Medoc region of Bordeaux, which is a shithole by the pooh brown waters of the estuary there, ready to get our booze on. Luckily we had previously arranged for a few wine tastings at 3 fancy as all hell Chateaus. So by 9.05am we were drinking $1000 bottles of wine at Chateau LaTour, excellent! did a couple of other chateau that day…. it all blends into 1 massively wikkid time filled with fancy houses and fancier plonk.
Biarritz was up fer a perusal, so a night was spent there. Handsome place but it was chocked full of aussies and people who looked like aussies as its the only surf beach in europe or some shit…. whoopity do, we did get to hear the dulcet tones of Operator Please, who were absolutly shite. There was some womens long boarding comp on… sigh. Have i mentioned how boring surfing is? well another time i guess… Lovely place mind.
Then it was off to the Pyrenees to watch the Tour de France, sorta the point of the whole trip. We stayed in the ski town of Cauterets, top joint! Fully recommend it! Had ourselves a full week to get involved with it. We spent 3 days chasing the Tour about, once up the Col d’Aspin, another watching a start and the rigamrole that goes with it, and another on a hill in the middle of nowhere. Tis an
amazing spectacle!! yet a truly rubbish spectator sport. People have forever been giving me arseholes about how boring cricket is, and they do have a point here and there, BUT!!
we spent about 11hrs travelling to and from  the Col d’Aspin including a 8km walk up and then down ( we climbed the equivalent of 1km up vertically i may add) and 3hr traffic jam once we finished the walk of death just to catch 20mins of riders rolling past!!!! we didn’t even know what happened during the race or even who bloody won!!! Fer fux sake! Mind you i was happy we did it, i just won’t be all that keen to do it again…
Whilst in Cauterets, we popped here and there around the locale. Lourdes, named after Madonna’s daughter, was just down the hill and we had the good grace to be able to pop in and get good with god. The place is a hideous shrine to the commercialisation of religion.
I felt kinda repulsed by the whole joint, the main road into the shrine/church is full of reglious trinkets of dubious quality, it would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. They had a Rosary Supermarket!! all manner of shocking catholic curios that most $1 shops would avoid due to the product being too shoddy. Of course we bought up heaps to dole out to our catholic friends, Bernadette would be proud of us! Seeing all the pilgrims being wheeled in on their hospital gurneys to bathe in the healing water after walking down the main drags hideousness left me feeling somewhat sad and disturbed knowing that somewhere theres an dirty pilferer taking their last pennies in the name of the church.
Truly evil.
So we bailed on the Pyrenees in search of the Cote D’ Azur, unfortunatley we had to drop off the father in law in Beziers first. Not a horrid prospect till i found out we would be staying in a tent in a camp ground for the night…. i cried for awhile but it got me nowhere. The camp grounds over there are a touch flasher than the ones here, bars, restaurants, nightclubs every kind of sports ya can imagine and there were shows on every night!! we caught the Miss Mini *insert campground Name here* contest. it was interesting. They had 8 tweenies up on stage being voted for by the baying crowd, ya know a proper beauty contest turn out. We arrived to catch the swim suit bit. Once they
were all out there they turned on some RnB and the girls got their dance on…. oh my fucking god! Now these young ladies were at best underage but this did not prevent them from doing some nasty stripper shit in front of their cheering parents… in tiny bikinis… i felt like more of a paedophile than usual and the look on Nat’s face was priceless! I shall always remember Beziers for this, it almost made sleeping in a tent bearable.
Nice was our next port of call, well just outside of it in Vence. It is a beautiful old walled town 15mins up from the beach in the foothills, this is where the holiday slowed down a notch or 2. Hence forth we managed to go swimming everyday till our return! delightful!
Time was spent in Nice, Antibes and Monaco all of which were to my taste, i really like it down there. Top points however goes to Monaco and the afternioon the wife and i spent swimming off the `grandstand’. It was a sort of concrete grandstand built onto the walls of the harbour for swimming and fishing i gather and being solid kiwi kids we utilised it to the fullness. We reverted back to 5yr olds and were bombing and diving about even trying to catch fish by diving in, this great white hunter touched 1 with me finger! As ordinary as this may sound it was by far the highlight of me trip. We popped into Anitibes, Cannes and up the hills to Grasse and Eze whilst still on a serious mooch vibe, and thusly before we knew it, it was off to Ibiza.
Now it turns out the streets are not paved with gold in Ibiza as i had been lead top believe, mad shocker! We stayed in Playa Den Bossa which reminded us both of Ko Samui in Thailand, only the bars scattered all over the show didn’t have lady boys in em but Italian and Spanish teens getting boozed and random dudes selling `disco tickets’ which isn’t code. It seems also nearly impossible More time was spent lounging ocean side and by the pool working on a tan we are now busily covering with as many layers as we can find.  Some nightclubs were visited here and there and an
nice afternoon spent wandering around the walled fortress in Evissa town, which is a UNESCO world heritage site! who knew?
i figured it would have been Space or summat?

So now feeling a touch worse for wear we prepared for the inevitable return home. The good news was we still had a night in Paris to look forward to! Alas, my worse for wear was growing exponentially. By the time we hit the plane i was in quite some state, i even managed to get a vomit in onboard! motion sickness was killing me dead… mind you, we had yet to actually move. This
did not bode well. To get to our hotel there would be trains, taxis and walking required… i was in not fit state by now. I musta looked pretty ruff as people were walking around me on the train like i was a plague victim! a nice lady at a train station offered me some drugs, but we had left ibiza by then and i didn’t feel like dancing. A nice man helped Nat unload the bags from the train as i was nearing death, quietly too i may add, like a real man i just took it and kept schtum (note from Nat: this is not true).  Eventually we made the hotel which was dead centre of all the cool stuff in Paris. Fat lot of good that did me… all I was good for was lying face down on the bed in our room and not moving. Nat didn’t let my impending death slow her down though as she pootled off to take in the
beauty that was a summers evening in Paris. I did try to get up for dinner but couldn’t make that stick either and abandoned Nat at the table to eat her dinner and mine and drink her wine alone.  I’m dead nice like that.
Next we came home.

It took the usual 40hrs of travelling.



  • The Ninja said:

    punctuation and formatting are your friends!

  • websta said:

    punctuation is for the weak!!

    i have ben reading far too much Bukowski to give a shit about commas…..

    feeling better Thorpedo?

  • Benny said:

    “like a real man i just took it and kept schtum” – heh even without Nat’s note I think we would all know this is crap..

    Anyhow that all sounds generally pretty great. I can see why you aren’t all that stoked to be back.

    Mick is my enabler for trainer buying also.

  • Mick said:

    My eyes are numb.

    It was a massive relief when the adidas store was still open!!!!! I can not even see that semi naked teens dancing to cheering parents would make a Happy Wayde if it had been closed. Or touching … a fish

  • Lelo said:

    so i could’ve skipped the bmp reunion and just read this instead?!

    but then again, i would’ve missed out on being the cats bed and seeing bob brush basil.

  • Mick said:

    *wishes he was at bmp on Saturday to see Waydes impersonation of teens in tiny bikinis dancing while Bob brushed Bazil*

  • Bob Daktari said:

    I brushed the dog?

    oh dear me

  • Benny said:

    Thankfully we were spared that impersonation Mick.

  • websta said:

    i got Benny some wikkid cool `berliner clubber guy’ sunnies but the ingrate didn’t like them!!

    i didn’t like what he got me from Japan either…..

  • The Ninja said:

    so I actually read it this time. well done.

    but fuck me. please format things.

  • Benny said:

    They wound up being worn by a dog later that night Wayde. He seemed to dig them.

  • websta said:

    Righto Paulie….

    whats formatting?

  • Holiday Wrap - The Music Bit | Stink-Finger said:

    […] of you poor people may have read my wee `What I did on my Holidays’ bit awhile back. Well you’re in for a treat today! Its instalment 2 – “The Music […]

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