After nearly a full season of being amazing I had finally managed to get some people along to behold my magnificence!
Paul Ninja gets an honourable mention for showing up, albeit too late to see me score 58, to see me grab 5-11 earlier in the season, thusly proving my amazing.
Kate, Mel, Micah, Baz, The Wife™, and BMP members Bob, Paul and Mick the Kfc kid, all found themselves enthralled by my obvious exquisite talent this last Saturday passed.
All were there on this auspicious occasion to watch the mighty Kumeu top side play the `evil Ellerslie squad of death’ on Michaels Ave #2. Ellerslie having beaten our heroes twice this season, once without the hero of this here report, were table toppers this season. But now we were into the top 4 round robin, and I was playing this time!
They won the toss and chose to bat. I opened the bowling and was met with much resistance before resting due to the extreme heat of the day, birds were falling out the sky pre cooked it was soo hot!
Then other people did stuff until I bowled again!
I took 3 wickets in my last 4 overs helping in bowling the great foe out, one wicket was more amazing than pretty much any thing else that happened that day. A mammoth brute of batsman, 10 foot tall if he was foot, let one fly back at me, whom after hurling the ball down at such velocity was still in the throes of my follow through, usually preventing anything other than evasive action by lesser players, and then with the reactions of a cat on P! I snatched the wretched ball from the air as nonchalantly as possible when your reaction time is measured in 1000ths of a second!! The assorted masses went wild, as one would expect after seeing such an amazing spectacle.
The Nasty Ellerslie had managed a rather meager total of 298 off their allotted 40 overs, they were shifting in the seats knowing this would likely not be enough once they saw me padding up. After opening the bowling with such aplomb and the game being a final of sorts I was asked to open the batting as well, a feat only achieved by the most amazing cricketers.
I quickly asserted myself and lay them to waste with my willow sword, they changed the bowlers seemingly every over as they all fell before me.
After what must have seemed like forever for the Vile Ellerslie players, I finally surrendered my wicket for 69 at a run a ball. Setting up the remainder of my team for a heroic win. Yu my ask why I gave them a sniff of victory by handing them my wicket? It is true that I had the chance to go on and score the majority of the runs, but I am a modest team man, and felt it had been long enough for me, and some of the less fortunate members could use this time at the crease for their own enjoyment.
The huddled masses all stood at attention as I strode off the battlefield, my work done.
It has been mentioned that I may be a touch amazing?
Now I have proven once and for all that that is not factual.
I am truly amazing
We won of course.